Day 5 (Mon)
Okay, another lesson in not being too hard on myself I see. This time, I really TRIED. So this was an experiment because I love eating at this Halal spot and I was curious what are the macros. So I brought it home, weighed, and lunch wasn’t that bad which was with rice. So I figured dinner replacing the rice with salad would be fine. Welp. I did not look at those numbers hard enough because I had 300 calories left for the day and went to town. But again, it was not enough to bust my week. So I’m like okay. I have to log before I eat just so I can adjust beforehand. I will so, this is still in my maintenance calories phase, so in addition to the 7 day average, its not enough to set me back.
Reflecting over the weekend, now that I am 35, my fitness bracket has changed ever so slightly which will make getting an excellent score a little bit easier. 1 less situps for max points and 3 less shuttles for 50 points. The last time I tested, I did 31 hand release pushups, 33 situps, and got to level 3,7. I feel very confident that if I maintain my nutritions and keep up with my training, I will do WAY better. I would like to get an excellent but I get so much anxiety putting that kind of pressure on myself. An excellent score would be great for packages I may want to submit in the near future though so it feels like I have to go for it.
I hate feeling like I have to cram for this fitness test. I just want to be at a point where I can wake up, do it, and be sure it will be excellent. I want to be able to trust how my body will show up. Right now, its anyone’s guess. I remember feeling this way when I was 22 and it was incredible to get to a point where I didn’t fear what my body couldn’t do. Even for how brief of a season that was. I had so much confidence.
I bought some sticky notes and wrote 1-75 on it and stuck it on my wall. So every day, I’m going to remove the highest number so I know how much I had left. That count down thing really helped me in boot camp. I set up my tracking wall. I’m going to throw away from bottom to top. I think I like the idea of having days left than days completed. Plus it just looks neater to remove the bottom. I have the first 15 days in pink because they are going to be the most challenging and most vulnerable to falling off. Just have to make it to blue. And that last month, that when I begin to transition into my first maintenance phase. And since I set it up a couple days in this, I can remove the first row of pink!
I skipped the gym again because I was behind on work. I shouldn’t have been, it just took me so long to flip the productive switch. Its like I only have so much discipline in me and a lot of it is going to not eating like a crazy person. And I feel a bit burned out being on standby for work during the day and working at night. Even though the workload overall is low, the period is long. I will be happy to get my evenings back.
I do miss going to class though. I will say, I tried a fitness journey three years ago and just focused on the workouts and I can confidently say, I cannot out workout my diet. The amount of time it takes to burn calories is soooo much longer than the seconds it can take to ingest them. It is no contest. It is so much easier to eat less calories than burn more calories.
Tomorrow, I’m going to try to just drink protein shakes and fruits to make sure I’m getting the fiber to offset the all the protein. I would need to drink 8 shakes to reach my goal which seems like it should be feasible, but psychologically, its just a lot.
